So you've decided to put yourself out there - way to go! You're ready to step out of your comfort zone, meet new people, and hopefully make a few new friends along the way.
But somewhere between Zoom fatigue and adulting, this whole "making friends" thing got weirdly hard. Maybe you've just moved to a new city, switched jobs, or realized your social circle consists of your barista and your dog. Don't stress, it's totally possible to meet new people (and actually have fun doing it!)
And what better way to do that than finding the right meet-up group where shared interests, meaningful connections, and maybe even a little harmless oversharing are part of the fun?
The good news? You don't have to figure this out alone. At Hot and Social, we've built an entire community around meeting new people who are in the exact same boat as you. So if you're ready to choose the right meet-up group and learn how to make new friends as an adult, keep reading.
Why Choosing the Right Meet Up Group Matters
Before we dive into the "how", let's discuss the "why", because not all social meetups are created equal.
Some meetups feel like home the moment you walk in, while others may have you planning your escape before you've even said hello. Showing up to the wrong group can actually feel worse than not going at all. You've invested time, energy, (and sometimes a little cash), only to end up feeling awkward and counting the minutes until you can leave.
But when you find the right social get-together? That's where the magic happens. You walk in a little nervous (totally normal) and walk out buzzing. You've connected with like-minded people who "get" you, swapped stories, and you're already planning to meet up with your new BFFs again.
The secret? It ain't luck. It's about matching the group to who you are and what you need right now. If you hate running, don't torture yourself by joining a running club. Not much of a reader? Skip the book club bore. But if you love yoga, trivia nights, evening events, or brunches... that's the sweet spot.
See where we're going with this?
Now that we've got that out the way, let's get into how to meet new friends and find the right meet-up group that's perfect for you.
Choose the Right Meet Up Group in 5 Easy Steps
Here are five steps to help you choose the right meet up group in the US:
1. Define your interests
Before you head out to make friends, think about what you actually enjoy.
As we said, if you hate running, don't join a running club because it seems like a good idea to meet people. You'll dread every meetup, and that energy shows. Instead, think about what you already do in your free time, or what you're curious about but haven't yet tried.
Ask yourself:
-
What do I do when no one's watching?
-
What topics can I talk about for hours on end without getting bored?
-
What sport do I love, and is there a club to join?
-
Is there a hobby I've been meaning to try?
Maybe you're into true crime podcasts, vintage shopping, CrossFit, or trying new brunch spots in the city. Maybe you've always wanted to learn pottery or scrapbooking, or would love to volunteer at your local animal shelter. Whatever it is, there's probably a meet-up group for it.
If you're in NYC, Hot and Social's event lineup covers everything from casual brunches to seasonal parties. It's such a great way to meet potential friends with common interests!
2. Look for groups that match your goals
Be honest with yourself about why you're looking to meet new people in the first place. These goals will shape which groups are the best fit for you.
Are you looking to:
-
Make new friends? Look for groups with a social focus and recurring events so you can see the same faces over time and build real connections. Who knows? Your new best friend might be waiting there.
-
Network professionally? Opt for industry-specific or career-focused meet-ups.
-
Explore a new hobby? Join clubs and groups centered around learning new things.
-
Make time for exercise? Some of your closest friends might be waiting at the gym, a local yoga class, or at the tennis court down the road. Exercise groups have a weird (and wonderful!) way of connecting people!
-
Looking for a relationship? Some get-togethers are more partner/relationship-focused, while others are purely platonic.
-
Just get out of the house? Volunteer groups or book clubs are fantastic, low-key meetups that usually get together once a month.
3. Do a vibe check
Every social meetup has a vibe, and this matters more than you might think. You want to find a group where the energy matches yours, not somewhere you feel like you're pretending to be someone you're not.
Here's how to do a proper vibe check before committing:
-
Check online: Look at the group/event's website, social media, and event descriptions. What's the tone? Is it fun and casual, or more formal and professional? Do photos show people genuinely enjoying themselves, or does it feel staged?
-
Read reviews: If the platform allows, see what past members or attendees are saying. Are folks raving about the welcoming atmosphere, or complaining that it felt off and weird?
-
Notice the language: Pay attention to how the group and/or organizer describes itself. Words like "inclusive", "welcoming", and "open to everyone" are green flags. If the tone feels exclusive or intimidating, trust that feeling.
At Hot and Social, the vibe is simple: everyone shows up solo, so everyone is in the same boat. No pressure, no cliques, just good energy and genuine people.
Our meetups range from movie screenings and daytime brunches to Hot & Shabbat dinners and Camp Social weekends. They're all about meeting like-minded people in a safe, relaxed environment that feels natural, not forced. If this sounds like your scene, you're definitely in the right place.
4. Try before you commit
The only way to know if a social get-together is right for you is to give one a bash. Most social meetups don't expect you to commit after just one event, so think of your first few meetups as test runs. Go with an open mind, but also don't feel bad if it's not the right fit.
After your first event, ask yourself:
-
Did I feel welcome and included?
-
Did I enjoy the activity or conversation?
-
Could I see myself coming back?
-
Did I meet anyone I'd like to see again?
If the answer is "yes" to all or most of the above, you're onto something. If not, that's okay too. It doesn't mean there's anything "wrong" with you or the group; it just wasn't the right match.
But here's a caveat: one event may not be enough to get the full picture. Maybe your first meetup was on an off night, or maybe you were feeling extra anxious and didn't fully engage. Try going at least two or three times before making the final call. That said, if your gut is telling you to run for the hills: run for the hills. Don't force it.
Read more: Uncover the Fun Side of Social Meetups
5. Consider the logistics
Let's get practical for a second. A meet up group might sound fantastic on paper, but if the logistics don't work, you're setting yourself up for frustration.
Before committing, check:
-
Location: Is it easy to get to? If you have to travel an hour each way, you're probably not going to keep showing up consistently, especially after a long workday.
-
Times: Does the event fit into your schedule? A Tuesday morning yoga class might sound dreamy, but if you work 9 to 5, it's just not happening. Look for groups or meetups during times that you can realistically commit to.
-
Frequency: How often do meetups happen? Some groups gather weekly, others monthly. Think about what works for you and your calendar. Weekly might be too much if you're already juggling 101 things, but monthly might not be enough to make meaningful connections and friendships.
Summing It Up
There you have it: a quick rundown on how to meet new friends at any age. From defining your interests and finding groups that match your vibe to testing the waters and keeping things practical, these five steps will help you build real connections that actually stick.
If you're in NYC and ready to put yourself out there, check out Hot and Social's event lineup online. We're right here to cheer you on and ready to help you turn those "nice to meet yous" into meaningful friendships.
FAQs
Is it hard to make new friends?
While some folk may make friends more easily than others, it's totally doable for anyone! The key is finding people who share similar interests to you. Try joining a club, volunteering, or going to social meetup groups in your town or city. You'll be surprised how quickly connections start to form.
How do I make friends after a divorce?
Divorce is a life-changing event that can often leave you feeling like your social circle has been completely reset. But with a little time and effort, it's definitely possible. Start by saying yes to new experiences (book club, gym class, walks in the park). Surround yourself with people who share the same interests, as it's easier to build real friendships that way.
